Thursday, March 24, 2011

Back on My Meds


you should totally have some of what I am having.

What am I having you ask?

Well... (you know you're in for a story when you see the well, followed by the ...)

First, let me start by saying... I almost didn't tell this story because it is sort of personal. But... I am not exactly one for privacy (my own of course, I respect other people's privacy. FYI) (And I respect Matt's privacy so I hope this won't embarrass him. ...oh, who are we kidding. He doesn't even read my blog.)

SO...I obviously haven't blogged for awhile. I can't say exactly when my "funk" started but I (in hindsight) noticed it had been going on for awhile.
I was still functioning pretty well, (helloooo, we ran a half marathon. Does that seem like something a depressed person does?)
But it started getting worse.
I started reading books.

A lot of books.
A couple books a day. (Loved Vampire Academy, hated the last Hunger Games; Mockingjay).

I didn't feel depressed (sad), more like... apathetic.

Toilets...who cares.

Blogging...Does anyone actually read it?

Kids fighting... shoulder shrug.

Being creative...maybe later.

Talking on the phone...hmmm might cut into my book reading time. (Red flag, anyone?)
Thoughts in my head...mysteriously absent.

Three different "interventions" from three different friends in one week finally got my attention. (I say interventions kind of joking, but kind of not.)

So I made an appointment with my BFNP (Best friend Nurse Practitioner). She told me that postpartem can occur for up to 18 months after a baby is born and she put me on Wellbutrin. (I took it for a while after Bella was born too.)

I began taking it and I started ... I started creating. I started couponing again. I started shopping.
I started cooking. I got excited about decorating. I let my library membership lapse. (ha, that is so not happening, I was just checking to see if you were still paying attention.) ... you get the picture.

Anyway, it's been a couple months and I am off them now. But doing great. I think I just needed a little some'n to get me back on track.
That is the story.

Sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable.
And now... back to your regularly scheduled programing.


Amy Lindstrom ~ said...

I am so glad you posted this! You are one seriously amazing woman! I love and look up to you so much!

I have totally struggled with depression off and on through my life...last year was no small exception. I don't think I was totally willing to accept it. However, I definately had my moments. I totally know the feelings you speak of my friend!
I am SO glad you are feeling much better!

I am so sorry that I was so caught up in my own that I didn't notice that you needed me to be a better friend. You really made the biggest difference to me last year. Just after Dawson died, when I first came home, you were amazing. You totally helped me by sharing your experiences and getting me out of the house! Thank you so so much for that!

I am sad that I am not up there to do some crafting with you. I just got my craft bug back too! I totally want to do some fun stuff. I am sure that I will be coming up this Summer for a while. We will totally have to plan some fun crafts and just chat time!

Love ya!

Jess said...

Hey I'm so glad i'm not the only one to go into funks. Tyler thinks i am going crazy sometimes and maybe i am but oh well. I do the book reading thing about once a year it seems like!! It is like the only thing i will do for weeks and weeks. and it makes my whole family crazy. Never been on meds but i am sure there has been mutiple times maybe i should have!!!! guess i have a tendency to be afraid of them. Glad to know there is something out there that you can take and then get off of that quickly!!!

Michelle said...

I'm so glad you are back I missed you!! Not enough Tana time at work any more! Glad you made it through the doldrums and are back on your feet. Happens to the best of us- especially in the gray winter. Be on the lookout early next year...just sayin!
Love you girl!

Cassie said...

I think women need to share these kinds of experiences more often so that we don't feel like we are the only ones. Similar thing happened to me when my baby was 9 months. You think it can't be post partum but low and behold-it is! It's important also to know that it's okay to take something to take the edge off a bit. So glad that you are feeling like yourself again. You truly are inspiring and I am so glad that we can still keep tabs on eachother through blogs after all these years!! Much love to you and your sweet family!:)

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